Preserving the memory of the deceased is the responsibility of his relatives and close people. In order to afterlife was not a burden to the deceased, it is important to keep order at the grave, regularly read prayers, order memorial services and light candles for the repose of the soul. For all these actions there are days specially designated by the church. And so a logical question arises - is it possible to go to the cemetery on the birthday of the deceased? There are two diametrically opposed opinions on this matter.

Is it worth visiting a grave on the deceased’s birthday?

There is no clear answer to the question of the need to visit the grave of the deceased on his birthday. There are several points of view on this matter:

• There is no point in going to the cemetery, since the deceased has already completed his earthly journey, and the date of his birth does not make any sense. Moreover, some are sure that a reminder of worldly life can harm the soul of the deceased. After death, it is customary to celebrate only the date of death, since it symbolizes the beginning of another existence. And on the birthday of the deceased, they remember with a kind word at home or in church.
• Visiting is allowed, but you cannot organize lavish celebrations or even leave food or alcoholic drinks at the grave. You are only allowed to place flowers and a lamp, read prayers, and communicate with the deceased.

If you have a strong desire to visit the grave loved one on his birthday, then, of course, it’s worth doing it. The main thing is to go to the cemetery with good intentions and sincere prayer for the soul of the deceased. If there is no such need, visiting the cemetery can be postponed until nearby memorial days.

Rules for remembering the deceased on his birthday

If you decide to go to the cemetery, then you should adhere to the main rules of conduct:

• You cannot bring food and drinks with you or leave them at the grave. This should be done in memorial days, and on a birthday such actions are inappropriate and not pleasing to God.
• Under no circumstances should you hold a feast at the grave, drink alcohol, smoke, or use obscene language.
• You should not cry too much, as in this case the soul of the deceased will suffer and will not be able to find peace.

In addition to visiting the cemetery, it is recommended to order a memorial service at the church and light candles for the repose of the soul. You can also distribute alms or sweets and baked goods to friends and neighbors, thanks to which more people will remember the deceased.

Alternative dates for visiting the grave and rules of conduct in the cemetery

To visit the burial of loved ones, you can choose any other date from those offered by the church:

• On the third, ninth and fortieth day after death.
• Every year on the day of death.
• Parents' memorial days.
• Meat, Trinity and Dmitrov Saturday.

It is on these days that the deceased especially need the presence of loved ones, their prayers and communication.

When visiting the churchyard, you must adhere to the following rules of behavior:

• It is better to choose clothes in discreet pastel colors, white or black. It is important to completely cover your legs, so open shoes, shorts, and short skirts should be excluded. It is preferable to cover your head with a scarf, cap, or hat.
• Do not express your emotions too violently, cry loudly, laugh, or swear.
• You cannot litter, spit, or go to the toilet in undesignated places.
• You cannot step on or jump over tombstones.
• If something accidentally falls on the ground, then you should not pick it up. If the item is valuable, then instead of it you should put a less significant thing, for example, candy, a coin, flowers.
• When leaving the churchyard, you shouldn’t turn around and come back.
• Upon arrival home, all clothes and shoes should be thoroughly washed, laundered, and tools should be cleared of dead soil.

Each person is free to choose the time to visit the cemetery in accordance with their own feelings and needs. If you have a desire to go to the grave on your birthday, then if you follow the basic rules, this will not become a punishable or negative act.

Every person comes into this world to fulfill his destiny. But the time comes when you have to leave the earthly world and go to eternity. gives life, and he takes it away. In Orthodoxy there are basic customs and traditions on how to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death.

Wake. History of the ritual

A ritual such as a wake is carried out by the relatives of the deceased. It arose a long time ago on the basis of Christianity. Moreover, it combined several rituals from several religions. However, this rite can only be performed on those who have been baptized. The Church does not pray for those who have taken their own lives, the unbaptized, and people of other religions.

Orthodox Christians hold funeral services 3 times: on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after death. The basis of this ritual is as follows:

1. Relatives or friends are preparing a funeral table.
2. Everyone who knew the deceased is welcome to come and take a place at the table.
3. They eat and remember the deceased with good words, and tell interesting incidents from his life.
4. The remaining food is distributed to all guests so that they still think about the deceased.

For 40 days after death, the soul is in search and ignorance. For the first 3 days, she visits all her native and familiar places, being close to those who were close during life. Until the 9th day, he gets acquainted with places called paradise. And until the 40th day he sees the suffering of people who are in hell.

On the 40th day, God’s court pronounces a verdict on where a person’s soul should find peace. The beginning of this eternal life is considered the anniversary of death.

The most invited to the anniversary Dear people. They try to call those whom the deceased would like to see during his lifetime. Preparation for the meal begins in advance.

How to prepare a funeral meal

First of all, you need to determine what day the anniversary of the death falls on. If it is a day of fasting, it is necessary to prepare meatless dishes. If it’s a normal day, you can include in the menu those foods that the deceased loved. It is prohibited to place any alcoholic beverages on the table.

You definitely need to prepare kutya and consecrate it in the church. As a rule, Orthodox Christians prepare it from rice or wheat with raisins.

Much attention is paid to table setting. Everything should be modest; forks are not placed on the table on Memorial Day. An even number of guests are seated at the table, and the same number of cutlery is placed.

But the main point is reading prayers and saying kind words about the deceased. You need to light a candle or lamp, put a photograph in a mourning frame.

For the deceased, a glass of water is placed on the table, which is covered with a piece of bread, a spoon and a small cup of salt are placed next to it.

Visit to the cemetery

Before sitting down to the table, you must visit the grave of the deceased. If for some reason this cannot be done on the day of the funeral, you can come to the cemetery on another day. Just be sure to arrive at the burial site before noon.

You should take a candle with you, which you need to put and light in a special glass. Flowers will not be out of place: fresh or artificial, depending on the time of year. According to pagan rituals, many people bring food with them, leaving candy or what the deceased loved on the grave: apples, cigarettes, pies.

True believers remember the deceased only with prayers and the laying of fresh flowers.

The Christian faith believes that memory can only be honored through prayer. In this case, even the most serious sins can be forgiven. Therefore, you need to order a Memorial Service in the church. You can also order Sorokoust about the deceased, which will be recited for 40 days, 6 months or a whole year.

Be sure to light a candle for the repose of your soul. You can invite a priest to the grave, who will read the akafest and perform a litia.

Is the deceased remembered on his birthday?

In some families, it is customary to remember the deceased on the day he would have had a birthday. Is it correct? According to ancient beliefs, the birthday of the deceased ceased to have any meaning, since now the date of death is the date of birth of a new life. Therefore, our ancestors did not remember this day and did not go to the cemetery.

The priests believe that they can commemorate him at any time, including on his birthday on earth. Only this remembrance should occur in prayers and thoughts about the deceased.

How to remember a deceased person on the anniversary of his death if he voluntarily passed away or was unbaptized? The answer can be found in the letter of the Apostle Paul to the Colossians, who says that for God everyone is equal. Therefore, no matter how a person died, at least close people should remember him on his anniversary. After all, only prayers will help him cleanse himself from the sins of worldly life.

After the death of a person, relatives and friends of the deceased keep his memory. Coming to the grave is one of the obligatory rituals. As a rule, it is combined with important church holidays, as well as when there is a need for care and cleaning of the burial site. Is it possible to visit a cemetery on the birthday of the deceased and how to behave on this day?

Opinion of the Christian Church

The clergy do not interfere with the desire of the relatives of the deceased to visit the cemetery on the birthday of the deceased person. It is good to combine such visits with ordering a funeral service and giving alms. Remembrance in the world means flowers on the grave, candles. At the same time, it is important to maintain a sense of proportion. Ordering ritual wreaths in bulk and organizing lavish feasts at the grave is not only not necessary, but also undesirable.

The main thing, according to the clergy, is to come to the cemetery on this day with prayer and be full of good intentions. It is also undesirable to cry when visiting a resting place - in this case, the soul will suffer and will not find peace. There are no restrictions on the time of visit to the cemetery - you can come and stay at the grave at any time of the day and for any period of time.

How to remember the deceased on his birthday?

The Christian Church does not accept this day as special. After death it loses its meaning. Therefore, there is no need to attach any special significance to the day. Everything that a loved one of the deceased does on this day can be done on any other day.

What can you do on this day?

• perform a memorial service in the Temple;
• make a common prayer rule at the grave;
• give alms.

Upon returning home, you can traditionally treat your relatives and neighbors with sweets and funeral food. This will help remember the deceased and pray for his soul.

What is undesirable to do on this day?

• arrange a lavish funeral;
• drink alcoholic beverages;
• bring food to the grave and treat yourself there;

You can also remember the deceased at home and in church, and time a visit to the burial site on any other day. If it is impossible to come to the grave for the deceased, they pray at the location. Church services and memorials can also be held regardless of the distance to the person’s final resting place.

For our readers: is it possible to remember the deceased on the birthday? With detailed description from various sources.

The loss of a loved one is a great loss. It is especially sad if a person passes away on his birthday, although this does not happen often. It happens that life circumstances do not allow a memorial to be held on the desired date. What to do if it falls on the deceased’s birthday? In such cases, friends and relatives wonder whether the deceased is remembered on this day or whether the memorial should be held at another time.

When the dead are remembered

It is known that according to Orthodox traditions It is customary to organize a wake in honor of the deceased. The funeral meal is held on the day of the funeral, nine days later and on the fortieth day. Many also hold funeral services on the anniversary of death and on the date of birth of the deceased.

Traditions of ancestors

Oddly enough, the ancestors understood some laws of life more than modern people living in progressive times. They had wisdom and good intuition, and had a close connection with nature. How they treated commemoration in ancient times:

Previously, traditions were a little different, and people acted in ways that are no longer accepted. For example, funeral food was not brought to the grave of the deceased. They also did not hold a memorial ceremony in honor of the day the deceased was born. And even more so, they did not dare to celebrate his name day.

This is not at all due to disrespect, as one might think. Of course, loved ones always remember this day. Just a belief of those years says that new date The birth of the soul is the day of its death. Therefore, the day on which the soul separated from the body is considered a day of remembrance.

Death was represented as the moment of the birth of a new life in a different body, so the deceased was remembered on the date of his transition to another world. For this reason, it was not worth even thinking about whether it was possible to celebrate the birthday of a deceased person.

It was considered incorrect to commemorate the deceased on the name day. The ancestors believed that this forcibly attracts the soul into its old life and does not allow you to finally die in the old body and be born again. This also negatively affects the condition of the deceased’s loved ones. After all, they suffer, load themselves with sad thoughts and cannot let go of someone who is no longer with them.

Modern opinion

In Orthodoxy, commemoration of the dead is not forbidden even on name day. What priests say about how to remember the deceased on his birthday:

• On this date It is not forbidden to go to the cemetery and, moreover, even welcome. It is good to give alms to the cemetery during the name day of the deceased. Of course, you cannot hold gatherings at the grave of a deceased person, much less drink alcoholic beverages. This can cause harm to the soul of the departed person.
• At this time it is necessary try to keep your emotions under control, don’t give in to tears. You need to visit the deceased with good intentions. You can bring artificial flowers and a candle to the grave.
• Priests prohibit crying at the grave on the date of remembrance, because the soul can begin to suffer, spiritually die from anxiety.
• It should be noted that commemorating the deceased mother, father, son or daughter has no restrictions. Parents and children are the most sacred thing there can be, and the church does not impose any rules in such cases.
• Saint Peter wrote an order for the commemoration of parents. From his immortalized words, you can learn about how life after death works, which verse from the psalter should be read after the death of the father and mother, and how long it should be done.
• When it comes to more distant relatives, for example, a grandmother, priests recommend holding funeral services at the designated time.
• If the loss occurred to a pregnant woman, her absence from the funeral ceremony will not be considered a sign of disrespect, even if the deceased was her husband. Expecting a child is a very difficult time. Why torture yourself with negativity? It is unlikely that a constantly grieving mother can be congratulated on the birth of an absolutely healthy child. You can mentally honor the memory, and after a while come to church and order a candle for the soul of the deceased.

Thinking about whether it is possible to remember a deceased person on his birthday, it is worth listening to church advice. It should be noted that the clergy really have wisdom and can argue their views on why this or that tradition appeared.

Birthday of the deceased

The current generation is not overly superstitious, so few people think about how they remember the deceased on their birthday. Now the funeral is carried out as follows:

• If people are believers, then they go to the temple. Usually at this time a funeral prayer is read, the priests ask God for the soul of the deceased.
• Some ask the priest to go with them to the grave so that he can pray and honor the memory of the deceased. After which the relatives, coming home, hold a funeral dinner.
• In some countries, people give sweets to neighbors and relatives as an invitation to share in the memory of the deceased.

Visiting a cemetery on the name day of a deceased person has become a stable tradition encouraged by the church. And many unbelievers do the same.

A person can decide for himself how to remember a soul mate. If you can’t come to the grave during this period, nothing terrible will happen. The most important thing is that only warm memories remain about those who are no longer on this earth.

When visiting a cemetery, people pay due respect to the deceased. Therefore, if there is even the slightest opportunity, it is worth taking advantage of it.

What should you do on the birthday of the deceased?

We celebrate the birthdays of the living, celebrate, rejoice, congratulate, but with the dead it’s a different matter.

Just as fans and connoisseurs of the work of Pushkin or Vladimir Vysotsky come to monuments, read poems or sing songs, the relatives of the deceased also remember them on their birthday. You can remember the deceased in the cemetery and at the table, raise a glass in honor of his memory.

A THIS IS THE OPINION OF THE CHURCH

Usually, on the birthday of the deceased, it is customary to visit the cemetery, and besides this, the most important thing is to remember him in prayer in the Church (submit a note for the liturgy and memorial service, simply light a candle for the repose of his soul and pray, if possible, order a memorial at the indestructible Psalter in the monastery). But you need to know that Church records are submitted only for Christians baptized in Orthodoxy; they cannot be submitted for suicides, sectarians and heretics. If there is a choice between going to a cemetery or going to Church, then it is more important to go to Church. It is also necessary to give alms to the poor for the deceased (give money, give some things, feed). If you do all this, you will be of great help to the deceased person. Do not forget to remember on the day of death and on special days for remembrance of the dead established by the Church – Parents' Saturdays. But it’s better to do all of the above more often.

In my large family, nothing was done on the birthday of a deceased member. They just quietly and calmly, over the evening meal, remembered the deceased person with good words. The first person to die in my large family was my grandmother, Aksiniya Ivanovna Samushkina. She was born in 1892. But she did not know her birthday. They remembered her name on New Year's Day.

My first wife died at a young age. Every year on her birthday - March 27th - I go to her grave and place an odd number of roses on it. She loved roses. During my lifetime I did not steal many roses from city lawns. On the day of death, too many people gather at the grave. Therefore, on your birthday, we can be alone for a few minutes, chat, without being distracted by drink and food, and mutually calm down.

You know, I feel good after such visits. Maybe She is also calmer up there?

Probably the best thing to do would be to pray in church. Order a prayer for the repose of your soul. Visit, if possible, the grave of the deceased. Correct e.

Remember, at the dinner table, about a person. Naturally, remember only the good things.

You can go to the cemetery and remember. You can remember it at home, light a candle if the person was baptized. Remember all the good that was in a person. Cry. Call his relatives or friends. Memory is all that we can give to the deceased...

I won’t give any divine advice, since I’m not a supporter, but personally, our family, on the birthday of deceased close relatives, gathers at the table, remembers the deceased, sometimes we light a candle on this day for his repose. We remember without fail, without alcohol, but with the baked goods that the deceased loved. If the weather permits, we go to visit the cemetery.

Firstly, the birthday of the deceased must be remembered. Of course, it’s not worth organizing a celebration, but you can commemorate it in a narrow family circle. Believers can order a prayer for the repose in the church. It would not be wrong to visit the grave of the deceased.

The question of why one should not go to a cemetery on the birthday of the deceased interests both superstitious people and realists. After a person dies, the relatives of the deceased do not forget about him, preserving the eternal memory of his soul. A visit to the cemetery is a must. Usually, this is done on Radunitsa or when it is necessary to clean up and restore order at the burial site. Is it possible to come to the grave on the birthday of the deceased and how should one behave on such a date?

What does the church think about this?

Church ministers do not prohibit close people of the deceased from going to the cemetery on his birthday. It is correct to combine this kind of visit with ordering a church service for the repose, or you must give alms. The commemoration that the church allows is flower arrangements at the tombstone and candles. The most important thing is to know a sense of proportion. Purchase wreaths from an agency in large quantities, holding large-scale celebrations at the grave of the deceased is not only prohibited, but also prohibited.

The main thing, as church ministers say:

• visit the grave;
• pray;
• harbor exclusively good thoughts.

It is better not to shed tears or get upset when visiting the burial site, otherwise the soul of the deceased will begin to worry. There are no prohibitions on visiting the cemetery. You are allowed to come and sit at the grave whenever it is convenient, but you can stay in the cemetery as long as you want. But, there is one point. You cannot celebrate the birthday of the deceased! This date after death simply does not exist, so it is not celebrated.

Church officials do not consider the birthday of the deceased to be anything special. After death it loses its meaning. Therefore, you should not think about this issue. Whatever the relative of the deceased spends on this day is always permitted.

What is possible?

We figured out that you can visit the grave on the date of birth of the deceased, if you do not perceive it as a holiday. There are several simple actions that are not prohibited. Human can:

• conduct a church memorial service;
• perform a common prayer at the tombstone;
• restore order at the burial site;
• mentally communicate with the deceased;
• give to the poor begging.

When a person returns home from the cemetery, as is customary, it is allowed to treat those present delicious dishes. This will help to remember the deceased and read a prayer for his reassurance.

What's not allowed?

Experts give some advice on how to behave at the grave of the deceased. Prohibited:

1. It's great to celebrate.
2. Drink alcohol.
3. Leaving food at a gravestone or taking something from a grave.

To adhere to the rules, you are allowed to remember the deceased at home and in church, and you can visit the cemetery, but without gatherings, noise or alcohol. If it is difficult for a person to visit a cemetery, then it is necessary to pray at the location. Attendance at funerals and services is permitted regardless of the territory of the cemetery where a loved one rests.

Should we celebrate?

You can visit the grave of the deceased on his birthday. But there are also rules of behavior in the cemetery:

• You cannot wear bright clothes;
• you need to come in the first half of the day;
• avoid swearing, loud crying, laughter;
• It is forbidden to spit and litter;
• You need to leave without looking back, you can’t come back.

People of the past generation, despite the fact that they did not have literacy, compared with today's average person, read the traditions of Orthodoxy much more correctly and knew more about life than young people. They treated the dead, friends, and relatives in a special way. Once upon a time, no one took food to the grave. This date was not celebrated. And this is due to the fact that previously people believed that after the death of a deceased person there was no birthday, when the soul was in the body of the deceased. When she goes to heaven, the date of her death is immediately transformed into the date of birth.

After the death of a person, relatives and friends of the deceased keep his memory. Coming to the grave is one of the obligatory rituals. As a rule, it is combined with important church holidays, as well as when there is a need for care and cleaning of the burial site. Is it possible to visit a cemetery on the birthday of the deceased and how to behave on this day?

Opinion of the Christian Church

The clergy do not interfere with the desire of the relatives of the deceased to visit the cemetery on the birthday of the deceased person. It is good to combine such visits with ordering a funeral service and giving alms. Remembrance in the world means flowers on the grave, candles. At the same time, it is important to maintain a sense of proportion. Ordering ritual wreaths in bulk and organizing lavish feasts at the grave is not only not necessary, but also undesirable.

The main thing, according to the clergy, is to come to the cemetery on this day with prayer and be full of good intentions. It is also undesirable to cry when visiting a resting place - in this case, the soul will suffer and will not find peace. There are no restrictions on the time of visit to the cemetery - you can come and stay at the grave at any time of the day and for any period of time.

How to remember the deceased on his birthday?

The Christian Church does not accept this day as special. After death it loses its meaning. Therefore, there is no need to attach any special significance to the day. Everything that a loved one of the deceased does on this day can be done on any other day.

What can you do on this day?

• perform a memorial service in the Temple;
• perform a general prayer rule at the grave;
• give alms.

Upon returning home, you can traditionally treat your relatives and neighbors with sweets and funeral food. This will help remember the deceased and pray for his soul.

What is undesirable to do on this day?

• arrange a lavish funeral;
• drink alcoholic beverages;
• bring food to the grave and treat yourself there;

You can also remember the deceased at home and in church, and time a visit to the burial site on any other day. If it is impossible to come to the grave for the deceased, they pray at the location. Church services and memorials can also be held regardless of the distance to the person’s final resting place.

The death of a loved one is a great grief. And it’s especially dramatic when this event coincides with his birthday, although this happens quite rarely. It happens that due to family or unforeseen life circumstances it is not possible to organize a memorial on the appointed day. Then people plan it for another date, but what if it accidentally coincides with the birthday of the deceased? In such cases, relatives and friends begin to wonder whether it is possible to remember the deceased on the day he was born, or whether it would be more correct to move the funeral to a day earlier or later.

What our ancestors did

Our ancestors spent years studying the laws of life and nature, and in many areas they understood more than modern progressive society. In those distant times, people were just as respectful of rituals and observed traditions, but, possessing important knowledge, they did not act as was usual for subsequent generations. For example, it was not customary to visit a cemetery and bring funeral food and related attributes (towels, candles) to the burial site. Also, memorial procedures were not held among the family in honor of the deceased person’s birthday.

One might consider this disrespectful and think that relatives forgot about such an important day, but this is due to the belief of that time, which states that the day of death is the new day of her birth. Since the soul has left the body forever, this particular date is considered worthy of commemoration. Death was considered the moment of rebirth of the soul in a new body, therefore the deceased was remembered on the day of his departure to another world. Remembering the deceased on his birthday was considered a bad act, forcibly returning the deceased to past life, preventing him from being reborn again. This also has a bad effect on the mental state of the relatives of the deceased, who oppress themselves with sad thoughts and cannot let go of their loved one.

The opinion of the priests

This may come as news to those who are not familiar with the basic rules of Christianity, but Orthodox priests They consider funerals with lushly laid tables and the presence of alcoholic beverages to be pagan attributes preserved from ancient times. The soul of the deceased does not need food or alcohol, so such things do not have to be present at the remembrance procedure. The presence of simple worldly food on the table is not excluded: rice, honey, bread. But there's no room for alcoholic drinks where they remember a deceased relative with prayer and kind words.

The main rule for the living is to remember the departed with prayer, to beg for the repose of their souls. The traditional memorial days with meals are the third, ninth and fortieth days. Orthodox Church does not prohibit commemorating the deceased on other days, including birthdays, but this should be, first of all, a prayerful remembrance.